[Film Review] The Killer is One of Thirteen (1973)

Every horror fan has their personal favourite niches that they delight in. The flipside of that is that they also have their personal blind spots, those things they’ve missed out on for whatever reason.

For me European horror is a big one, something that I’ve never had much prompting to investigate too deeply. Well, a new year is a perfect opportunity to sail the uncharted waters of Giallo, and Javier Aguirre’s 1973 film The Killer is one of Thirteen could be a potential gateway for me.

Glamorous widow Lisa (Patty Shepherd) has invited a large party of people to her remote mansion. That night she reveals her reason; she believes that one of the people she has assembled was responsible for her husband’s death a year prior. Dodgy dealings, infidelity, and secrets run rampant as the killer prepares to strike again.

Whilst Giallo is predominantly an Italian subgenre, the 70s saw a number of Spanish films that used the style and tropes. Many are on display in The Killer is one of Thirteen; the black gloved killer, the lovely ladies, the violent kills, and an overly long title that you realise after you’ve finished the film doesn’t really mean anything. When we get them, those things are fun, they give a certain style that whilst at times bordering on cheesy, is entertaining and endearing. However, even with limited knowledge I can’t imagine that this is the best example of Giallo. It’s not that the film is necessarily bad, although sometimes bad isn’t the worst thing a film can be because at least you remember a bad movie. The Killer is One of Thirteen is fine, but overall nothing memorable. 

There is initial promise with an Agatha Christie-like setup, and it must be said that Christie does not get enough praise when it comes to influence on slasher movie structure.Whilst not all slashers have a “who is the killer” element, the basic start of people in a single location being picked off one by one is as essential to And Then There Were None as it is to Friday the 13th. Such is also the case here, but it takes far too long to get to any actual killing. After the dramatic dinner table proclamation given by Lisa, played with a sultry aplomb by Patty Shepherd that I found magnetic, nothing happens for the longest time. Despite effectively being accused of murder, everybody just stays there. They keep talking about leaving but never actually try to do it until the third act when suddenly the cars have been sabotaged. Before that point there is nothing stopping them, they just don’t leave and instead play croquet and games of cards in delightfully vivid 70s fashion. They also have conversations that seem like they could be building on the mystery but which ultimately go nowhere and other than a couple of lines none have any real bearing on the climax. One or two red herrings is essential for a mystery, but this film has so many it may as well be set in Billingsgate Fish Market. 

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Some of the characters are entertaining (if one-note; the playboy, the bored housewife, the businessman, the poor but pretty young woman) and my favourite scene is easily when Lisa’s nosy aunt-in-law is pacing back and forth in her room theorising about what is happening while in the background her son, a creep who spends most of the movie being pervy, reads a porno magazine and ignores her. However, the filmmakers were clearly married to the title having thirteen in it as some characters are definitely there just to fill up the numbers. Nobody, other than Lisa, is interesting enough to sustain us through that dragging second act. Suddenly the film seems to realise that it’s dragging its feet and gives us several kills, and they are fun kills certainly but it’s too little too late, before rushing to the climax. Then when we get the answer to the mystery, it isn’t satisfying in a “it all comes together” way, more a half-hearted “okay, we need a killer ‘cos it’s the end” way, ending with a fizzle rather than a bang.

I will certainly look more into Giallo and other Eurohorror, but as an introduction The Killer Is One Of Thirteen was lacking.

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