[Film Review] A Good Woman is Hard to Find (2019)

Sarah (Sarah Bolger) is a grieving widow struggling to raise her two young children in the wake of her husband’s murder. When a stranger enters her home with a desperate situation and enticing offer, Sarah is thrust into a criminal underworld and must protect her children from both a violent crime boss and a callous police force poised to remove them from her home. Pushed to her limits with no help in sight, Sarah not only finds the strength to fight for her family, but ultimately finds herself within the rubble of her shattered life. Bleak but hopeful, director Abner Pastoll’s film is a compassionate look at the physical and emotional burden of caregiving and an exploration of the roles women are expected to fill in society. Sarah’s is a story of tragedy and humanity, the destructive weight of grief, and those left behind to pick up the pieces.

Bolger wonderfully captures not only Sarah's vulnerability but also her burgeoning strength and iron resolve to protect her children no matter the cost. In dire need of help, she receives little more than condescending comments and intrusive visits from social services designed to support her. She’s constantly reminded that her children are the most important part of her life as if she isn’t already sacrificing everything to care for them. A Good Woman’s heart lies in the fact that Sarah is allowed to do both things at once. She is a good mother, constantly prioritizing the needs of her children and pushing herself well past her limits to protect them. But she’s also a human being with needs of her own. It’s nice to see a female character allowed to pursue her own desires without the implication that she is neglecting her children by doing so. Her increasing willingness to stand up for herself in this regard is both cathartic and inspiring.

Further complicating Sarah’s already stressful life is Tito (Andrew Simpson), a young wanna-be gangster who forces his way into Sarah’s apartment on the run after stealing drugs. Simpson is simultaneously endearing and infuriating as he repeatedly disrupts Sarah’s life and endangers her children. Though he may have information about her husband’s murder, Tito’s presence in Sarah’s life puts her in the crosshairs of local crime boss Leo Miller (Edward Hogg) a madman with a penchant for unhinged brutality and habit of correcting grammar. With nowhere to turn, Sarah must depend on the kindness of strangers and support from her mother Alice (Jane Brennan), though it comes with judgement of her parenting and vilification of her late husband. 

Pastoll’s title implies a central question explored in the film: What is a “good woman?” Alice believes a good woman is a good mother, one who will sacrifice everything to provide for her children. But her rigid ideas about the life her own child should lead prevent her from fairly assessing her daughter’s parenting and drives a wedge between the two. Police officers and social workers believe a good woman should provide stability and support for her children but aren't interested in giving Sarah the resources to actually do so. It’s an unflinching indictment of social services without empathy and appointed saviors failing to see what kind of assistance is actually needed through the foggy lens of bureaucracy. 

Tito believes that a good woman is a port for his chaotic storm. Bursting into Sarah’s house and demanding to hide drugs, he expects her to give him shelter simply because he needs it. While he does offer to pay her a cut of his profits, he doesn’t give her a choice and spares little thought for how his actions will disrupt her life. When she resists, he simply forces his way in, expecting her to behave as his wife and imposing his idea of a nuclear family onto her. It’s easy to be swept up in his charismatic charm, but the instant things don’t go his way, he turns on Sarah, blaming her for his failure. The relationship she never agreed to has revealed his own selfishness and stupidity and he knows no other option but to take his frustration out on her. 

In addition to examining society’s approved roles for women, A Good Woman is Hard to Find is also an examination of criminality and the collective understanding of whose lives are worth protecting. The police don’t care about her husband’s murder, essentially refusing to investigate his case because they believe him to be a drug dealer. With no help available, Sarah is forced into criminal acts because they’re the only source of safety available to her. Sarah initially rejects Tito’s deal, wanting to remain in the good graces of the law, but after seeing how little the police care to solve her husband’s murder, why should she believe they would protect her too? She’s simply asking for safety and stability, not riches and power. A trip to the grocery store in which Sarah treats herself to simple luxuries like grapes, spaghetti, wine, and rented videos reveals the dire circumstances she’s been living in and lends context and justification to her otherwise questionable choices.

The film’s final act is as brutal and gruesome as it is empowering, causing the audience to question how far they would go when faced with the unthinkable. It’s interspersed with touching moments of human connection that ground the story and give purpose to Sarah’s more grisly actions. Though her situation is extreme, Sarah becomes a conduit for any mother struggling to define herself amidst the constant pressure to abandon her autonomy. When pushed to her limits, she is forced to confront the realities of the ideal “good woman” she’s been striving to be and focus on rebuilding her life. While everyone around her has their expectations of what a good woman is, Sarah’s ultimate empowerment comes from finding and becoming the woman she’s meant to be. 

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