[Editorial] Consenting to Fear

Fear is only fun when it’s consensual.

As a horror fan, I opt into fear, and I am always chasing a good scare. For example, I love going to haunted attractions around Halloween, when the world is in a spooky mood. I scream, laugh, and shrink away from the actors, who can always spot me for an easy scare, but I love it. The last few years of going into haunted houses, I have noticed a trend of being presented with very clear rules, to which you must agree before you can go inside. Often the rules answer questions like: Can the actors touch you? Can you touch the actors? Is filming allowed? What if you want to leave? Clear expectations get everyone on the same page before the scary fun begins, and it allows you to consent to a certain kind of experience. That does not mean you know exactly what scares will be around every corner, but you have a general idea of what’s to come, and you can agree to participate or say “never mind.” If something were to happen outside those bounds you agreed to, that could, at the very least, ruin the fun, and at worst, cause you trauma. 

Haunted houses with clear rules are a good example of a belief I hold dear: Fear experiences are all about consent. This is true for any kind of horror experience: movies, TV shows, books, haunts, or anything else that might interest a horror fiend. Seeking out fear for fun is a boundary-pushing activity, and you ought to have control over exactly what that means for you. Just as the best haunts offer informed consent, we can do the same when making horror recommendations to others. If we approach horror experiences with consent in mind, we will be more welcoming to a more diverse community. We can make horror accessible to more people, perhaps people who thought they would not be welcome because they don’t want a very particular kind of experience. Instead of gatekeeping, we can tear down the damn gate and invite new friends in. 

Here are things to keep in mind, for yourself and others, to lead to consensual horror experiences. These could apply to films, books, games, interactive events, and wherever you get your horror!

Content warnings and deal-breakers:

• Get to know your own, and ask about others’. Don’t apologize for wanting to screen out certain content, and welcome the same honesty from those around you. Realize that your preferences can change over time, and it’s wise to check in with yourself about what you are and are not comfortable with. For example, I have to check doesthedogdie.com the moment I see a dog in a film. I can handle it if I know what’s coming, but I get anxious wondering if the dog will die, and I find it distracting. 

• If you are making a recommendation to a friend, be as up-front as possible about the content. Ask them if there are any particular content warnings they want, or if any subject matter is a deal-breaker. Personally, I am very sensitive to spoilers, and I like to go into films with as little information as possible. But sometimes you can give content warnings without spoiling plot points. Or, you can ask, “If I warn you about something, it will spoil the story, how do you want me to proceed?” It may be relevant if the potential content is seen in detail, or if it’s implied, and how much time is spent with it. For example, there is sexual abuse implied in The Perfection (2018), which is a completely different experience than sitting through the assault scene in I Spit on Your Grave (1978). Some people might be open to watching neither, or both, or one over the other. 

• It’s very common for people to want trigger warnings for content that may be especially upsetting. Some common examples include sexual violence or abuse, harm against children, and harm against animals. Even if someone has not mentioned this as a specific trigger, before you recommend an experience or piece of media with this kind of content, it would be thoughtful to give a trigger warning. For instance, many people are surprised when they first hear that Cannibal Holocaust (1980) has actual animal cruelty, and it’s fair to warn people about that. You could even offer the edited version of Cannibal Holocaust with the animal crutely cut out, if someone is interested in the movie but can’t sit through those scenes. Plenty of people would be upset by depictions of children in danger, and I have particularly noticed that when my friends become parents, it can bother them even more than before. I consider it a courtesy to double-check with parents before recommending a film in which children are in peril.  

Don’t coerce or convince:

• Chances are, if you’re reading this, you are already a horror fan, and likely the one making recommendations to others. When someone tells you what they do, or do not, want to experience, believe them. Depending on your relationship with the other person, you might be able to ask questions, but tread carefully. Accept it and move on if your friend does not want to say more. For instance, if a friend says “no home invasion movies,” do not rattle off statistics about how unlikely a home invasion is, or say “but this one’s not scary, I promise,” just respect their boundaries. 

• Keep in mind that others’ boundaries will differ from your own. You know what is scary, disgusting, or untenable for yourself. But you cannot assume that will be the same for others. A personal example for me: I cannot watch the “pig vat trap” in Saw III (2006). I have to look away from that scene, but I can happily sit through all the other traps. Initiate and invite open and honest conversation with others, to discover their own boundaries and share yours. If you can be honest, you can make others feel comfortable to do the same.

• Don’t try to talk anyone into something they don’t want to do. If they change their mind and want to push their boundaries, let them tell you. If you’re the horror expert in your circle of friends, you will be the first person sought out when recommendations are needed. 

If we keep consent in mind, we can be better ambassadors to the horror genre. Demonstrate honesty about your own experiences, and accept it from others. We can guide more people to take control of their horror experiences, and show them the wide world of what horror can be. Doesn’t that sound lovely? A horror community where everyone is welcome - that’s the dream. 

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