[For The Love Of Franchises] Mortality, Reality and Hilarity in Final Destination

Years ago, I had a habit of getting drunk after post-work drinks  and ending up getting the wrong train home. My husband made a joke one night that on my gravestone it would say Here Lies Vanessa, she finally got the right train. I remember laughing at his joke but actually also feeling really uneasy. Thinking about one's own death is always rather unsettling, even if it is in the context of a joke. It’s something that even as a child, I used to lie awake worrying about – my death, the deaths of my family and friends. The finality of it, or perhaps not. 

Thinking about death and avoiding it could be the premise for a really terrifying unsettling horror movie. The fear of death being a real threat that we all face. Yet, one of my favourite horror franchises manages to make it into a raucous affair with set piece after set piece of more and more elaborate crazy death scenes. It’s one of the reasons I love this franchise so much, its ability to turn what could have been real existential dread into, dare I say, comedy….

The first instalment of the franchise, Final Destination, hit cinemas when I was 15. As an X Files fan, I was so excited to see this new teen horror written and directed by X Files royalty James Wong and Glen Morgan. The opening sequence with the plane was, and still is, one of the best opening sequences to a horror film that I’ve ever seen. Scream probably still takes first place but this is in the top 5. 

From then on, the movie becomes essentially a slasher where Death itself is the villain. It’s quite early on when-what could have been a really intense unsettling affair-turns into daft fun. When Alex Browning’s friend, Todd, dies by an insanely complex bathroom strangulation, that’s when things go a bit bizarre. This set piece is made even more fun by the leaking water hiding away after its crime. I’m still not entirely sure why Death would feel the need to hide its  crimes but it just adds to the levity of the scene.

Another part of the light nature of this film is the coroner Bludworth, expertly played by horror Alumni Tony Todd. The performance is very on the nose but hugely effective as a kind of human form of Death. Bludworth as a name is pretty epic too, with call backs to Willy Wonka’s sly sidekick, Slugworth. I’m not sure if that was intentional but it works. An ominous otherworldly presence that you’re not entirely sure you can trust. Actually, thinking about Willy Wonka and the bizarre things that happen to the children in his chocolate factory, there are some parallels here…..

The rest of the movie is pure unadulterated fun, racing along with all manner of daft death scenes including one of the best bus crash deaths I think I’ve ever seen. Instead of being scared of death, the viewer can’t help but laugh at the bizarre endings our characters face. It helps that the main characters play their parts completely seriously in spite of the madness that is unfolding. 

The first time I saw this movie, it was a firm favourite straight away. To me, this is classic comfort horror; the type of movie I can switch on regardless of my mood and always enjoy. 

I had no idea there would be more movies in the franchise but when the second film dropped in theatres about 3 years after the first, I was overjoyed. What ludicrous ways could Death come up with to kill more serious teens. I know a lot of people favour this movie in the franchise. I still have a nostalgic love for the first but this instalment is, for the most part, loads of fun. The opening sequence is once again fantastic and I, like many folk my age, would never be comfortable sitting behind a log carrying truck. 

The second has even more outlandish death scenes than the first. My personal favourite being the fire escape ladder through the eyeball. Once again, Death becomes such an outlandish affair that the laughs are amplified. There is a slightly bizarre message/code in Final Destination 2but thankfully it doesn’t dwell on this and the barbecue boy at the end always makes me kill myself laughing.

I’ll admit that out of the 5 movies, Final Destination 3 is my least favourite. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I just don’t really connect with it as much as I do with the other instalments. However, Death once again makes me chuckle. The rollercoaster scene is a pretty good opening and the infamous sunbed death scene is quite frankly, awesome.. I feel there is some kind of message behind some of these deaths…sunbeds can kill kids!   Although it's at the bottom of my Final Destination list, it’s still an enjoyable romp once again bringing home the message that Death is so nuts that by this stage in the franchise, I’m starting to feel invincible! 

I know the 4th film is generally thought of as the worst movie in the series and as much as I’m not a fan of the third, I know that technically this is the poorest movie. However, I still love it. The deaths in Final Destination 4 definitely seem gorier than on any of the previous instalments which makes it even more fun. The whole sequence at the race track is absolutely bonkers but I could watch it over and over again. Death now is not only more gory but more of a hoot than ever! The characters in this segment are more vacuous than before but I still feel a weird affiliation to them. Some of the deaths here are epic too. The car wash and pool sequences stand out as favourites. By this point in the franchise, I really do feel immortal. Death is so ludicrous that it almost feels impossible that it could catch me. 

Final Destination 5 brings a little seriousness back. It’s actually quite clever if the ending isn’t spoiled for you as it was for me. Bludworth is back, hurrah, Death's earthly sidekick, and we have a fantastic gymnastics death scene  and a laugh out loud escapade at the opticians. Much like Final Destination 2, it does veer into trying to take itself too seriously at times.. For me, these movies succeed best when they’re just balls to the wall nuts. I’d argue that the comfort element and for me, the safety knowing how crazy Death is, works best when the films just do what they say on the tin as it were.

As I alluded to earlier on, death is something that frightens me: my own inevitable end and that of my loved ones. I think it’s something that frightens most people. What happens at the end, is there an afterlife, is reincarnation real, is there a God, a heaven, a hell? If I think about such things too long, my little head almost implodes. But…if I stick one of the Final Destination movies on…Death no longer scares me. It  becomes silly, daft and funny. 

These movies, in particular the first, could have been quite terrifying. If the original had played less for laughs and cast older actors, the whole feel of the movie could have been completely different. It could make you wonder about these awful existential anxieties surrounding death. But instead, it does something better. It’s comforting. It’s funny. Death is so out there that I really do almost feel immortal watching these movies. When horror franchises are discussed, this franchise is often left out but in a way, these movies are a form of therapy. 

And maybe, as my husband joked, my epitaph will write that I finally got on the right train. But maybe that train will get derailed in a horrible freak accident caused by numerous small coincidences then suddenly I’ll wake up and the train won’t have even left the platform…..

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