[Film Review] Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

If your Christmas wish list includes the robots from Chopping Mall (1986) in Santa suits awash in neon and set to rock n’ roll music, you are in luck! And you can thank Joe Begos and his film, Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022).

Tori (Riley Dandy) and Robbie (Sam Delich) are longtime co-workers employed at Tori’s record store. On Christmas Eve, Robbie convinces Tori to ditch her Tinder date and go drinking with him instead. They stop at the local toy store, closed for the night, where their friends Lahna (Dora Madison) and Jay (Jonah Ray) are planning to get on the naughty list. They acknowledge a creepy robotic Santa at the front of the store, greeting them with his lifelike movement and voice. We learn that the US Department of Defense robotic technology was deployed as mall Santas, to replace human workers and the problems they bring. Robot Santas are billed as more reliable and just as good for family photos. But they are now under recall, and due to unspecified malfunctions, all the robot Santas need to be collected after Christmas. 

But that’s not soon enough for Tori and her friends. Santa comes to life on Christmas Eve and stalks the town, leaving bloody snow in his gigantic footsteps. Over the course of one night, Tori has to fight for the survival of herself and her town. 

Exactly as advertised, the film is bloody and Christmassy. With the big, soft snowflakes gently falling on the quiet streets as Tori and Robbie stumble around drunkenly, backlit by oversized blinking colorful Christmas bulbs, it feels like going back to your hometown for Christmas and wandering around with an old friend. As we have come to expect from other Joe Begos films (especially Bliss (2019) andVFW (2019)), there is enough neon lighting to power a carnival for months. The harsh neon mixed with the blood mixed with the Christmas scenery makes for a fresh setting in the Christmas horror subgenre. The first two kills are slightly disappointing, as they are shot through Santa’s point of view, and you don’t get to see much blood or guts. But the rest of the kills make up for the first two, and we get to see Santa on a brutal rampage with his axe in all his glory. As the robotic Santa takes damage, he becomes more terrifying throughout the film, and his final form calls to mind images from Terminator 2 (1991).

Much of the film is spent with characters in pairs, having personal conversations, and it gives the feeling of overhearing lifelong friends talking in public. A positive of this type of dialogue is that it feels natural - you might really hear two friends arguing over the best rock version of a Christmas song. The downside to this kind of dialogue is if you don’t enjoy the characters or their conversation which forms a large portion of the movie. Tori and Robbie are in a “will they, won’t they?” type of friendship, and there is clearly sexual tension, enough for friends and aquaintances to point out. In real life, spending time with friends like that can be tiring… like, get a room, already. But if you enjoy the friendships, as I did, or you at least don’t mind them, Christmas Bloody Christmas has plenty of chaos, explosions, and splatter to add to your seasonal cheer. Put this movie on your wish list!

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