[Editorial] Hearts of Darkness: A Love Letter to Sarah Michelle Gellar

Scream Queen, Sustainable Sweetheart, Style Icon, Slayer –
Celebrating the on-screen and real-life roles of the irreplaceable Sarah Michelle Gellar

I'm sure it comes as no surprise to anyone that for the Ghouls Magazine Hearts of Darkness campaign I chose to write about my favourite actress, and personal hero Sarah Michelle Gellar. I make no secret of telling everyone I ever meet how much Buffy the Vampire Slayer changed my life and made me who I am - in fact I have already written about it in great detail (seriously, I had to ask Zoe how long an article could be before it was TOO long) so if you want to know why I love it so much you can check that out. What I don’t think people realise, is that Buffy isn’t the ONLY reason why I love Sarah. 

Boxing day 2003, I woke up with agonising pain in the right side of my stomach. After what I imagine was a few hours of relentless complaining to my mom, she took me to the doctors where they confirmed that I had appendicitis and needed to be rushed to hospital. By 10pm that night, I was in surgery, and then I spent the following 3 days recovering. When I finally made it home, my uncle was assigned to look after me for the day and unfortunately for him I had been gifted a VHS copy of the Scooby-Doo movie. That poor poor man. I loved the film so ferociously that I vividly remember that when it would end, I would immediately rewind it and press play again. Over, and over, and over again. I had the soundtrack on CD too, which I’m sure was an absolute gift to my mom. 

There was something about Sarah in the role of Daphne. She was stunning, her outfits (as always) were feminine and beautiful and, despite not realising the calibre of her surrounding cast at the time, she just dominated the film for me. Her determination to not be deemed as the damsel in distress, but a strong, able woman who could kick ass and solve mysteries like the rest of them, made her an instant favourite – another strong female role model for a girl in her early teens to look up to.

It wasn’t until much later that I saw her in the roles of Cici Cooper (Scream 2) and Helen Shivers (I Know What You Did Last Summer). Both roles were very Buffy-esque – stylish, sarcastic and smart - the only thing they were missing were her supernatural powers. They both showed that Sarah had the ability to not only play the helpless victim, but also to make you root for them even if they were a little shallow, or self-absorbed, or needed for once to be rescued. Cici and Helen firmly solidified her as a new icon of horror – a scream queen to remember. 

The whole set piece around Helen’s death in IKWYDLS will go down in history as one of the most entertaining and distressing of all time. I can remember the first time I saw it – screaming at the TV for her sister to let her in, and for her to RUN as fast as she could. “DON’T STOP” I yelled as she pauses for breath in the alleyway, and just a second before she is killed, I knew that it was too late – she couldn’t hear me, and she wasn’t going to make it.

Buffy was the first thing that I ever saw Sarah in, but her acting career actually began back in the early 80s when she starred in a Burger King advert – adorable right? Maybe this is where her love of food and cooking began.

Unless you’ve followed Sarah’s career and ‘personal’ life with the same dedication that I have over the years (I say ‘personal’ because I follow her on social media and still watch/read interviews, I’m not posted outside her house with binoculars), you may not know that in back in 2015 she started up her own company Foodstirs Junk Free Bakery with the help of two other parents. Foodstirs sell organic, sustainable baking kits with clean ingredients and less sugar than your usual treats. 

Sarah has said that baking with her two children and her husband of many years Freddie Prinze Junior (Co-star of IKWYDLS and Scooby Doo, who just so happened to go to culinary school too) has brought them together and bonded them in a way she never expected, and she hopes that the same will happen with other families when they use the kits. But providing healthy alternatives to junk, and opportunities for connecting with family isn’t the only thing that Foodstirs is about. They also collaborate with and donate some of their proceeds to, three different charities for children – Kidsave, Present Now and 50 States, 50 Books.

Sarah and Freddie have been together for over 20 years now, and unlike lots of other celebs of the late 90’s/early 00s they appear to have had nothing but a happy and healthy marriage. One of my favourite things about them is that they have never been at the centre of any ‘scandal’ – as far as we’re aware there’s been no drama, they just live peacefully and happily and neither of them do anything that makes them appear fame hungry or desperate to be in the spotlight. They seem just genuine, and normal – whatever that means. 

Nearly all of Sarah’s major roles have also been genuine, but as with all great actors, there is always a stand-out performance where they go against their typecast as the hero and go straight for the jugular with an unforgettable villain. It is my absolute pleasure to remind you of the legend, the icon, the ORIGINAL Regina George – Queen Bitch herself – Kathryn Merteuil.

Sarah literally goes to the dark side for the role - swapping out her blonde for brunette, and her loveable teenage naivety for that of a sharp, manipulative mastermind. Kathryn uses her sexuality in a way I had never seen before, wielding it like a weapon against men and even women. She took no shame in expressing her desires and doing anything she had to to get what she wanted. 

Cruel Intentions was, for many of us, a complete sexual awakening. If you were confused about your sexuality before it, you probably were even more so after it. Everything from the infamously moist kiss between Kathryn and Cecile - to the incredibly moving sex-scene between Sebastian and Annette – probably had you hot and sweaty under the collar before inevitably breaking your heart.

Now, I’m not saying that she was a good person or that I admire the way she treated other people – but Cruel Intentions was one of my first experiences of seeing a woman talk openly about sex, and the pressure from society to NOT talk about it. Until this point, I don’t think I believed that women did talk about it, or enjoy it, because the only people I had ever heard discuss sex in any way was the boys at school.

“It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself.”

Like most teenage girls seeing it for the first time, I was completely besotted with Sebastian (I have since realised he was a complete asshole, it’s fine) and longed for him to love me in the way he ‘loved’ Annette. However, no matter how problematic it may be – for anyone, let alone basically a child - Kathryn was always the girl I wanted to be. I have never touched cocaine in my life, but 15-year-old me would have done ANYTHING to walk around in that school uniform with THAT necklace. Sometimes, if I listen hard enough, I can still hear Bittersweet Symphony playing whenever I walk down the street in a plaid skirt.

Finally, I would be remiss not to say at least a little something about where my love started for Sarah Michelle Gellar back in 1999. Buffy was my first role model after my own mom. She showed me that it doesn’t matter how alone you may feel, or what fears are thrown at you - you have to stand up and keep fighting for what is right.

I’m writing this the day after what would have been Buffy’s 41st birthday. I often wonder what she would be doing now – would she still be out fighting the vampires, demons and the forces of darkness? Did she ever go back to college like she planned before Joyce died? Has she left Sunnydale behind and retired somewhere remote? Maybe with a family of her own? Does she have her own Freddie Prinze? And do they teach their children how to bake together? The thought makes my heart ache. 

Buffy was so much more than a character in a tv show to me, but I never let myself forget that Sarah Michelle Gellar is so much more than just Buffy.

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